Pertinent stats: So there’s the part of me that’s like, “Listen to yourself. You are not into him and you know it.” And then there’s the part of me that says, “But maybe you could be into him. He’s got a lot going for him! He’s nice and he has good taste in restaurants and he’s driven and he’s got his shit together.” And there’s also the part of me that is a red blinking whore and is just like, “SEX SEX SEX PRETTY DICK SEX.” And those two latter parts are the parts that are constantly texting him “Archer” gifs (oh man oh man, do I ever know what men like!) and being all, “Hey, so, when can I see you again? Because I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see you again with no pants on.”
These two parts are going to run into some issues pretty, pretty, pretty soon, methinks.
I’d like to demote his beardliness because I am less and less feeling the goatee but 1. That seems mean, kinda and 2. Can’t figure out how to make these stupid icons one half. I am a bad millennial. Continue reading